Recovery Guide

   21 Tips on Confidence, Well-being, Empowerment and Being Inspired


Day of Women helps women from all walks of life on the road to recovery from dark times.



1. Learn to love and accept the flow of life.
Be willing to be open to seeing yourself as strong, resourceful and creative, even when things become challenging (which is how life is at times). Remind yourself that through challenge there is growth.  Find the positive and the upside in everything that happens. Be willing to let go of critical and negative thoughts so you are able to find the “gift” in the moment (especially when life is challenging!).

2. Love yourself.
You can only give to and receive from others if you first love and connect with yourself.  Allocate some quiet time each day, whether it’s writing, going for a walk, meditating or having a nice cup of tea, and begin to connect with yourself again. Spend time discovering your dreams and desires. Once you know yourself well, so you can begin to create the life you want and share your best self with the people around you.

3. Let go of the past.
Reassure yourself that whatever happened in the past is now in the past. Remember that the past doesn’t equal the future. Simply affirm that is the case, be open to new possibilities and allow yourself to live in the present. Appreciate the past for the “gifts” it has given you, even if they appeared challenging and the opportunities it has given you to learn and grow.

4. Focus on your strengths, skills and natural talents.
What you focus on expands. We each have things we are good at, and things we are naturally less so.  Create a life which plays to your strengths: Notice what you are good at, and the things you enjoy and do more of those, more often.  Seek to accept and even find ways of enjoying the “must do’s” in life that you would rather not and reward yourself in healthy ways for getting these things done.

5. Watch that you aren’t over-committing.
It’s a female tendency to multi-task and do too many things.  Simply being mindful about what you can and can’t achieve can minimise frustration.

6. Love your shape.
The media today is responsible for a great deal of unrealistic images of women, and this in turn has been responsible for many of us feeling inadequate with our bodies.  Appreciate the natural shape that you are and the natural assets that you have and concentrate on their positive side, whilst at the same time eating healthily in appropriate amounts and exercising in ways that are appropriate for you so that can look and feel your best.


7. Empower yourself through your thoughts.
Notice whether your thoughts help you feel good or not:  Although we may have the idea that our thoughts are in charge, the truth is we can choose the thoughts that help us. Notice what thoughts you are running and choose ones that serve you.

8. Practice forgiveness.
Everyone makes mistakes. Simply forgive yourself for yours and accept your humanity, and do the same for others.

9. Get sufficient rest and relaxation.
Get into the habit of going to bed at the same time most nights and getting up at the same time each morning: a routine which is likely to make sleeping easier.  Find ways of relaxing during the day to help manage stress levels in your body; choose yoga, meditation, reading, listening to music, or whatever works for you.   Before you go to sleep, write down anything you are worried about or wanting to remember in a journal. This will help you sleep knowing the thoughts you need to take action on will still be there for you in the morning (and the ones you need to let go of are gone).

10.   Refresh your self each day.
It’s as simple and important as taking time out regularly each day.  This might mean going for a walk outside or sitting quietly under a tree and breathing deeply.  Your body will work better with a good dose of fresh air and that extra oxygen.

11.   Listen to, respect and take care of your body.
Your body is constantly giving you gentle messages, which become stronger if you choose to ignore them.  For example, back and/or neck pain are often an indication you are not acknowledging your stress and taking appropriate action, bloating after meals is an indication that your body has a sensitivity to what you are eating and something else would be better, and depression is often an indication you are not feeling your anger or other emotions. If you need to cancel a social engagement because you are just too tired, then do so (with sensitivity to the situation).  If you need to say “no” to a request – do the same.


12.   Be willing to make decisions.
If you can’t choose between several options, and you have fully considered all the elements, trust that whatever choice you make will be the right one. After having taken action, if your decision appears to be wrong, focus on what is right about it. For example, this decision has presented you with an opportunity to learn. Trust that everything is in fact happening perfectly because your “wrong” choice is taking you down a path that is right for you.  If your decision is right, celebrate and rejoice.  Whatever the outcome, share it with others (where appropriate) so they too can benefit from your experience.

13.   Don’t give up.
Perseverance and motivation in difficult situations are key, and a positive attitude and mind-set will get you through these tough times.  Make time to calm yourself and collect your thoughts in order to continue with the determination you need to take you towards your end goal.

14.   Practise Gratitude.
This is a tried and tested method widely recommended to support good feelings and the ability to attract your desires.  At the beginning and the end of the day, write down 3 things you feel grateful for. They can be smaller things such as the sun is shining or the bus arrived on time as well as the bigger things.

15.   Be clear in your communications.
Pay special attention to make sure you say exactly what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t back down from what you have said (unless new evidence presents itself); be clear that your opinion matters. Remember it is fine to change your perspective if new information comes to your attention which prompts you to adopt a different opinion.

16.   Remember you are special.
No matter what has happened in your life. Your thoughts, feelings, and opinions are as important as anyone else’s.  You are still worth something, and this worth must be nurtured and grown, even in spite of difficult circumstances.


17.   Get inspired.
Seek out inspiring people with worthwhile things to say, inspiring places that feed the soul, and inspiring objects that spark the imagination.  Find them through joining inspiring groups, reading their stories on the Internet and in books, travelling to interesting places, and looking in unlikely places.

18.   Use your senses to inspire you.
Don’t restrict yourself to sight and sound, as we tend to do.  Revel in the full use of your senses, and you may find you are experiencing more in the everyday places and actions than you did before. Notice all five senses– what can you smell, feel and taste?  Tuning into our senses fully brings us into the present, from which so much is possible.

19.   Share from the heart.
Be willing to share your story and be open to listen to the stories of others.  Storytelling is an age-old art, and humans have related stories to one another for years.  Tap into that ancestral part of yourself and it could help you and others too.

20.   Role models can provide achievable inspiration.
Choose one for yourself – whether they are famous or ordinary, fictional or real, alive or a part of history – and put them in your situation.  How would they deal with your challenges and how can you learn from the actions they would take?  You could even write a story about yourself being inspiring, modelled on how you think this person would behave in the same situation.

21.   Find a project or purpose that inspires you.
Is there something that you’ve always longed to do or learn?  In that case, now is the time to be proactive and do it!  Once you’ve chosen your project, make an effort to allocate regular time to work on it.  Make it a part of your everyday routine, and notice how you feel – is your inspiration growing?

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