“Feeling What You Are Feeling is the Path to Healing” – Learn Why Feeling Feelings is Good For You!

Having feelings and emotions is a natural part of being human. Your feelings impact how you perceive a situation, they can dictate actions and responses and play a huge part in making up each individual’s personality . So, why is it that many of us repress our feelings (at least at times)? Does the denial of anger or sadness mean that they’re really gone? Quite the opposite in fact; It’s a bit like putting the lid on a pan of boiling water: the water continues to boil underneath, and often more voraciously.

While there are those who have no problem showing how they feel to everyone around them, many others are determined to keep their feelings and emotions in check – bottled up and out of sight; from others and even from themselves. Some of us deny how we feel so as to make uncomfortable thoughts and emotions easier to handle, others suppress their feelings so that they don’t feel vulnerable; and while this may seem to work on a short term basis – these actions can cause a negative effect later on. Perhaps putting ourselves in an emotionless bubble creates the illusion of being free from pain and attachment so that we can’t ever be hurt; but the truth is pushing these feelings aside has no real benefits – mentally or physically – and eventually we find ourselves in a far worse state than if we had chosen to feel our own feelings. There are times when it is beneficial and appropriate to surrender to your emotions whole-heartedly, and in nearly every situation it is beneficial to to acknowledge that they’re there and tackle them accordingly. (In rare circumstances where survival is at risk, it may be beneficial to cut off from emotions, but otherwise, not)

Allowing yourself to accept all forms of emotion gives you a better understanding of yourself and this in turn gives you an idea of the right tools or help you’ll need when facing your own inner difficulties. Whilst giving in or surrendering to emotions may become overwhelming and difficult– repression just builds up that intensity for later, and can create physical illness. The ability to understand your own feelings – especially the difficult ones – allows you to face them a little at a time. You’ll learn to handle your emotions, recognise what triggers each feeling and you can decide how to tackle what occurs; the pace, and the way in which you want to express yourself.

With practise, the feeling intensity subsides and transforms and you’re usually left feeling stronger – the hurt diminishes; Feeling all your feelings and in particular the difficult ones, releases you to enjoy deeper positive feelings and emotions. You may learn that your perception of life is dictated by your choices, and not clouded by negativity. You’ll eventually feel freer, less burdened by something you couldn’t see or fully comprehend.

Just because they’re your own feelings, doesn’t mean you have to face them all on your own. Seek support, admit that you need people around you, and trust yourself to be a little vulnerable because that’s the only way to become stronger. Emotions and feelings aren’t there to control you they’re part of you – and accepting this means accepting yourself.


Hyacinth – Day of Women Team Member


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These suggestions have a track record of working for people in this situation. We recommend that you try these tips and see which ones are suitable for you. You may find that other approaches work for you too. Depending on your circumstances, a consultation with your GP may be advised.

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