6 Tried and Tested Ways to Let Go of Shame and Move into Empowerment

It’s human to feel shame; a pit of despair which can lead to depression and self-loathing. Whatever the cause of shame, be it mental or physical illness, a pattern of bad decisions, someone else’s negative actions, or your own interpretation of your own actions, it is possible to move towards empowerment and let your shame go. Here are six tried and tested ways of vanquishing shame in order to become a more empowered you.

1. First and foremost it is helpful to pin point exactly what made you feel shameful in order to move towards empowerment. Although this may appear to be an obvious or an easy first task for some, it can sometimes be challenging to discover what it is that first triggered your experience of shame. Was it a specific incident, or was it actually another person’s actions or the way you perceived the incident. Recognising whether someone else is responsible for providing the trigger or if it is the way that you personally perceive ‘shameful’ incidents is the first step to empowerment.

2. Take control of your daily actions. Women often struggle to feel empowered in a masculine world. Stressful environments can lead to women feeling reliant on others in order to succeed. This can lead to feelings of shame. Start reclaiming daily actions that you may have felt too ashamed or inadequate to previously do. Take charge of your own personal identity.

3. Reduce negative influences in your life . Whether it is specific people or activities, reshape your life by cutting out negative influences that lead to feelings of shame for you. Shame can be used as a weapon of manipulation and control: wherever possible sever ties to individuals who trigger shame in you. Shame helps to perpetuate negative behaviour and actions: some individuals may want to keep you within this cycle of destruction often because of their own feelings of inadequacy.

4. Embrace being yourself. Do not try to reinvent yourself in order to feel empowered: this can lead to further feelings of shame once you start to no longer recognize who you have become. Stay true to yourself and be the person you always dreamt of becoming with no one holding you back. Remember, you can always change your pattern of actions and behavior.

5. Gain the support of others. Whether it is friends and family who you once alienated, or other individuals who have found the path to empowerment, it can be helpful to talk through any shameful incidents that have been holding you back from true happiness. It is key to build bridges and increase your personal community so as to strengthen your own character. This is a great opportunity to make new friends and connections with people who have undergone similar problems as yourself, as the road to empowerment is full of new and exciting challenges.

6. Remember every day that shame is relative. If you have been struggling with a mental or physical illness it is important to realize that there is nothing shameful in this: it is normal and human to have difficult feelings at these times. If you have suffered at the hands of others, there is equally no shame in this: it is normal and human to have difficult feelings at these times. To feel empowered, accept being yourself, and disregard, let go of and don’t take in any hurtful comments that others may say. Sometimes in life there is suffering, Accept yourself in order to find empowerment.


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These suggestions have a track record of working for people in this situation. We recommend that you try these tips and see which ones are suitable for you. You may find that other approaches work for you too. Depending on your circumstances, a consultation with your GP may be advised.

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