5 Ways to be Less Needy

Whilst everyone has needs, neediness is a put off.

No matter how good of a friend you are, or how well you know someone, if you appear needy, people can usually tell.

But there is a silver lining. There always is – and you will find it in a big fluffy cloud in the shape of Independence.


Here are 5 ways to become more independent and less needy:


  1.  Create a life for you.

If you’re used to putting yourself last. Stop right now. There is only so long that you can live a life that revolves around people. Whether that is friends, family or commitments have something that is centred around you.

This does not mean to say, be selfish and shut people out. But you also have goals, dreams and priorities. What are they? Are you putting them off? Why? The time is now.

Make a list, break it down. Do a little a day. Like a pot of water, if you keep adding drops, the little soon becomes a lot.


  1. Don’t be a people pleaser – It’s tiring for them and you.

Are you always worrying about what people may think about you, that you’re being judged perhaps?

I’m sure you’ve heard it a gazillion times. The phrase – you can’t always keep worrying about what people think of you. And it’s true to some extent. Rather, let’s rephrase it and say, don’t let what people think of you affect you.

The point is, you are draining your precious energy on these fears. As you have to live with yourself. Just make sure you are true to yourself.


  1. Remember relationships work both ways

It can be extremely frustrating when you are rarely on the receiving end. Ask yourself whether you are expecting too much, or trying too hard to make an effort with someone who just isn’t going to give you enough back.

Accept that everyone else is being who they are – and yes sometimes those reasons don’t fit with you, and the sooner you accept this, the better for your state of peace.

Don’t let go, just step back a little. Even better can be to give without expectation. Ask yourself the true reason behind your efforts. For example, are you trying to fill a void?


  1. You become Independent, when you learn to become self sufficient

There’s nothing like a helping hand. But are you asking for an arm and a leg?

Most things we are capable of doing ourselves, but sometimes we think it would feel better if someone else were to do it for us.

In this ‘age of information’ everything is within reach of us through the internet in forms such as videos, blogs, how to’s and online courses. From one perspective, there is no reason why you are unable to do something unless you are physically incapable.

So the next time you need someone to do something for you. Stop, Google it. It sounds simple but there are a plethora of answers there that await you. Education will set you free.


  1. Stop fighting with yourself.

There is often some kind of internal battle going on. Sometimes we continue to fight because we need the answers.

But ask yourself this. What will you do once you have them?

This life is for living, and the more you let go, the more you will receive.

Let go and focus on being happy with yourself.


When you came into this life, you were born whole and complete. The same is true today. Stop fighting with yourself and realise the richness within you.

Let yourself be, so that you are open to receive.


By Sabina Sheikh

Disclaimer: These suggestions have a track record of working for people in this situation. We recommend that you try these tips and see which ones are suitable for you. You may find that other approaches work for you too. Depending on your circumstances, a consultation with your GP may be advised.


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